Making Love and Making Money Work

One of the biggest reason why relationships don't work is because of money worries. This can cause stress in a marriage and that anger, resentment and eventually abandonment. This does not have to be the case. If you know how to combine the two you can not only survive the disagreements, they can be used to strengthen the relationship.

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

One of the biggest problems most people have is where to get started. You need to get started with the right information. Some of it will be easy. Some will be a little more difficult, but it will be a great way to get the ball rolling. The three numbers you need to start with are your credit score, your net worth and your monthly cash flow.

Don't be fooled by the snazzy songs. You really do not need to join any company to get your free credit report. Everyone is entitled to at least one free credit report a year. You can get this information at Annualcreditreport.com

You can also get a second one if you fall in one of the below categories:

You have recently been denied for a loan

You are unemployed and looking for a job within the next 60 days

You are receiving public assistance

You believe your credit report contains mistakes do to fraud

You currently reside in Colorado, Georgia, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey or Vermont.

Knowing exactly what is on each of your credit report and what the score is the best way to get started on coming together. If you can't share this information with each that says more about the trust level in the relationship and is a huge red flag. Once you have it look over it for any errors. If there are none now you are ready for step 2.

The next step is figuring out your net worth. Understand this has nothing to do with your worth as a human being. We all have something to give to the world and the number of zeros behind a number had nothing to do with how good or bad of a person you maybe. The only thing this will show is how much or little debt your are in.

Now this can be tricky and you probably wont be able to do it overnight unless it is something that you have really been keeping track of. The credit report will be a good place to get started. It should be a good listing of your debts. It may not include them all. If you have borrowed money from someone, owe taxes that do not appear on your report or maybe have some traffic tickets outstanding you should include these as well.

The surprising part is that you may not have the assets that you think you have. Remember your house and car, which make up most of people assets, are not worth what you paid for them. They are not even worth what you see them selling for maybe in a newspaper. Since you have bought them they have probably depreciated in value. To get a price of your house you may be able to get a real estate agent give you an idea if you let him know you may be thinking of selling. You can get an idea of the value of your car by doing a little research online. Remember you don’t have to be down to the penny, but you do want to have a rough idea of the value of all your assets.

The next step is to determine your monthly cash flow. The reason this is important so that you will know if you are getting closer to your goals or further away from them. Many people confuse income with cash flow. You could be a making a million dollars a month, but if you are spending 1.5 million then you are still in debt. You are a millionaire in name only. In Texas they say you are all hat and no cattle.

What you are looking for is seeing if you have more month than money. You also want to see where your money is going. Once you identify that you are making more money than you have going out you can look towards increasing your wealth or reducing your debt. If you have more month than money you need to look at ways to cut back or increase your income.

Now that you have done the home work don't take a break. Keep the momentum going. Now it is time to make the relationship and the money work. Here are the steps to making that happen.

Goal setting may have gotten a bad name, but it is absolutely necessary. If you are in a relationship they help make sure everyone is moving in the same direction. These should be goals that are important to both people. The key is to set SMART goals. They need to be specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and time bound. To simply say that you want to be rich is not a goal. Setting a goal to have 20,000 in saving in 5 years by saving an extra 335 dollars is a goal that someone could reach. If that is your goal you could reach it without even factoring in interest.

Make sure to use cash or pre-paid debit cards. This will help you control your spending. It will also prevent you from getting into more debt with overdraft fees. Debit cards from banks are fine, but you are still subject to incurring overdraft fees if go over your balance. This is really nothing more than added interest onto any balance that you already have. You need to have the money benefiting you are your family and not the big banks.

If you have done all the steps of getting your finances together this should be easy. Now is the time to make sure you can get all your records together. You never know when you will need them and having them together will just make your life easier. Here is a list to help you get organized:

Names and SSN of you and your partner

Name of your employer including addresses, phone number, salaries, and any financial retirement information (401k, pension, etc.)

Bank, savings, and investment account statements

Health insurance papers

Income tax returns

Life insurance policies

Credit Card Statements

Real estate in joint and individual names

Vehicle registrations on all cars, boats and etc.

Trust funds, annuities, and inheritances

Any other financial papers that you need.

I know if you are already in debt it may be hard to think about saving but you CAN do it. Think about it this way, if the government came in and garnished your wages you would have to learn to live off the remainder. It is easier than you think. Just have your money deducted automatically from your check before you even see it. You will get used to living off the difference. Most companies allow your direct deposit to go to more than one account. Just have it taken automatically. If you don't get direct deposit try and have your savings accounts at the same bank. This way whenever you get your check cashed you can make a deposit in your savings at the same time.

50.00 a month will equal up to 600.00 a year. Now it may not sound like much but it is a good start for someone who may not be saving. That is only 25.00 every 2 weeks. Not even the price of a lunch date. You can do it and once you see that money start adding up you will be able to excited to see how much you will have.

If you have taken the above steps you have come a long way. You are probably better prepared than 90% of the people in world. Most of us just are not organized or knowledgeable when it comes to finances. We never learned it from our parents and didnt learn it in school. Most learned by trial and error. Education may not be cheap, but ignorance is expensive. Continue to read good books on finance, watch good financial programs on tv and continue your study on online. Learning should be a life long pursuit. If you continue to put more knowledge in your head you will continue to see more money in your bank account.

If money has been a big issue in your relationship then it doesnt have to be a negative in the relationship. Instead of something that pulls you apart it can become something that brings you together. Financial intimacy in a relationship can be just as loving and physical intimacy. To be able to be completely open and honest with someone about your financies is one of the best gifts you can give anyone. Make sure you mate knows that no matter what that the relationship is what is really important and that as long as you are both willing to work on becoming debt free then you can make it. I wish you the best and look forward to you success.